You are a Wonder WoMom
You are a wonderful Mother. No? Why not!? “I can’t help it…I get stressed and scream at my kids…. Most of the time, I don’t have energy left to play with my children… I am so busy, I can’t attend school functions all the time.”
I am a Wonder WoMom and so are YOU! I had the same qualms when I decided to write blogs and articles about parenting – and thought I had no qualifications to be writing and opining on being a Mom – but I was wrong…very much so. Waking up everyday, looking at my son’s beautiful face and wanting ONLY the best for him makes me a Wonder WoMom. Making my goals fit, so that I can make my child the focal point of these goals qualifies me to write about being a good Mom.
Good mom differently
I am sure we all view being a “good” Mom differently. I am not here to preach. I am here to give suggestions. If my opinions do not match yours, please feel free to opine. I would love some healthy discussion on parenting ANY DAY OF THE WEEK! Moms are all different, therefore, we may all show our love in various ways.
Again, our love for our children makes us all Wonder WoMoms. It’s not the way we discipline our children and it’s not in being front and center (helicopter Moms – yes you!) with all their activities. My opinion is that you are a Wonder WoMom from the inside. It is in how you feel inside and how happy you are when you see your kids growing up happily.
Yes, I used to be a stress-bag! Big time! I always wanted to be on the dot on time for ALL of my boy’s school and extra-curricular activities. I would hyperventilate at the thought that I was going to miss a part of his presentation in school, because I could not leave work earlier that day. I used to lose my composure every time someone did something which was not “right” in front of my child.
I was afraid that if I did not check his homework, he’ll make a mistake and he would not be deemed as on top of it. Uh-uh – this was all about my ego…all about me wanting to be seen as the perfect Mom who can do anything and be in different places at one single time. Don’t think about what other people think. Look into yourself and look at your kids. What do you think? What do these munchkins think of you? Know thy stress Why stress happens and how to manage it.
I am by no means perfect. Neither are you (if you think you are – then this is definitely a discussion I would like to have). It is not necessary to strive to be the perfect Mom or have the perfect kids. No, Ma’am! If you honestly think someone can be a perfect Mommy and have perfect children then you are sadly in for some discouraging news. This is NOT happening, dearie. I do believe I am a good Mom and my boy, forget it – he tells me everyday how I am the best Mom in the world – and his thoughts are not up for any discussions.
History of the beginning
I started Wonder WoMoms because I (and I know you too) would like to come as close to perfection as possible. We would like to be healthy, successful, happy Moms for our happy, healthy, successful kids. We are here to learn more about ourselves and how we can help ourselves be the best we can be for our wonderful children and all of those who depend on us to be rational but free-willed individuals.
I have accepted a fact and I now say it is a fact not open for any debate: I am a Wonder WoMom because my child thinks so. I feel great just writing this and confirming to myself how lucky and blessed I am to have what I have. As I oftentimes say: “Too blessed to be stressed.” To you, I say: YOU ARE A WONDER WOMOM. EMBRACE IT!
So, Mom, Reduce Your Stress
Mom, are these scene familiar?
- …The kids woke up late again this morning. By the time you get them to school and fight rush hour traffic, you’ll be 20 minutes late for the meeting you’re supposed to lead…
- …When you were first hired, you felt lucky to get your customer service job. But now you wonder if it’s worth it. The phones ring constantly and you hear nothing but complaints. Last week, you called in sick just to get a break…
- …It’s almost time for your presentation. Top management is here and your supervisor is counting on you to make her look good. You were up all night finishing the Powerpoint. You wonder if you’ve anticipated all the possible questions…
- …Your hubby is complaining that you never get to spend time with him anymore…
Stress is a permanent feature of our lives, but it really seems to ramp up, especially when you are a Mom among all else. More often than not I speak to Mothers like myself and they report that overcoming stress is a problem.
This means we’re all spending way too much time in “fight or flight” mode. And it’s taking a toll on our bodies through weakened immune systems, high blood pressure, and heart disease. These conditions shorten our lives and lower the quality of what’s left. If you want the best for your children, take care of yourself. Check your stress levels.
Moms always try to do everything at once. Whether you go to work everyday or the CEO at home, you need to learn how to de-stress before stress overcomes your immune system. Read more here: 4 self care rituals.
There are lots of strategies for managing stress, but when stress blindsides us with no time to prepare, we don’t need strategy. We need quick, practical steps we can take NOW that work fast and can be done anywhere. When stress launches it’s next surprise attack, try one of these: breathe deeply, visualize mentally, relax progressively.
Breathing deeply could be the single most effective way to stay calm. Everyone breathes, but a lot of us breathe the wrong way–shallow, fast, and high in the chest. This kind of breathing is restrictive, it increases our anxious feelings, and it fuels our body’s negative stress reactions. Slow, deep breathing triggers a relaxation response, calming the body and focusing the mind. It increases the amount of oxygen in our blood, raising our performance potential.
Are you breathing the right way? To find out, try this: put one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen just below your rib cage. Now breathe. Which hand moves? If it’s the hand on your chest, your breathing is too shallow.
The trick is to make the hand on your abdomen move. Inhale deeply while you slowly count to five. Try to get your abdomen to expand instead of your chest. If you have trouble making it happen, try it lying on your back. With a little practice and patience, you’ll be able to shift into a deep breathing pattern automatically.
Once you learn the technique of deep breathing, you can do it anytime—in the middle of rush hour traffic, right before you handle the next irate customer, even in the middle of your big presentation.
There are two kinds of visualization techniques. The first one involves building a mental image of a place that’s relaxing for you. It may be a remembered place that triggers relaxed, contented feelings, or it may be imaginary. The basic idea is to give your mind something to focus on besides the stress.
Once you have visualized your restful scene, you should spend about 10 minutes attempting to imagine it as fully as possible. Inventory your senses. What do you see? How does it smell? Do you hear anything? What do you feel? What can you taste? Then slowly allow yourself to return to the real world around you. Effective visualization will take some practice.
Professional musicians and Olympic athletes practice a different form of visualization: a mental rehearsal of what’s about to happen. Instead of visualizing a relaxing scene, mentally rehearse the situation that’s causing your stress. Visualize the meeting you’re about to walk into and rehearse what happens. Imagine yourself successfully completing tasks that give you trouble. Visualize feeling calm and in control. This type of mental rehearsal can help you actually attain these feelings when the situation becomes reality. Make your time manangment, I wrote more about this here: How to be ruthless with time
Breathing deeply and visualizing mentally both involve your mind convincing your body to relax. Progressive muscle relaxation works the other way, with your body reporting to your mind that all is well.
Progressive relaxation works by tensing and relaxing muscles throughout your body, one group at a time. Try this: starting at your feet and working your way up to your head, contract and loosen each muscle group one after the other. Become aware of each muscle, tense it, hold the tension for a count of five, then slowly relax it. As the muscles in your body relax, your mind will become calmer and more focused.
The more you practice, the more sensitive your muscles will become to levels of tension and relaxation. The goal is to reach the point where you can relax your body on demand without having to go through the entire cycle. If you can do that, then stress doesn’t stand a chance. Here is some extra tool for this, here and it is free Do nothing for 2 minutes
Be aware of the situations that cause you negative stress. In here you are free to download for free, it is a gift from me to you: Calm mind Unleashed. If you can see them coming sooner, it may give you extra time to breathe deeply, visualize mentally, and relax progressively. Not only will these fast and easy techniques help you in the moment of stress, using them regularly may help lessen the long term effects of stress on your life and health.